We have a dirty little secret. This wasn't our first planned wedding. Not to say we'd ever been married or engaged before—but we had initially planned a much larger more traditional wedding, picked out a planner, a venue, a caterer, and, of course, paid deposits. I should mention that we aren't a couple that bickers much. So, somewhere between arguing over $3,000 floor lighting (something we'd only just learned about, but both had opinions as if we'd carried them our whole lives) and two valets or three, we realized something was off. A couple days later, while at the post office to send save the dates, my fiancé called me to express concerns over how unlike us this wedding was feeling. I came home without sending out the save the dates, and we chatted things over. Despite the venue being beautifully “us” everything else, it seemed, became more cliché and less “us” the further down the road we went. We made the very hard decision to let go of the venue (and deposit) and scale back from a 150 person wedding to something far more intimate. We chose to invite immediate family, and the only friends we'd have would be our wedding party and their plus ones (with perhaps one or two exceptions). We had to make some painful cuts to our wedding, capping our list at forty people (when children were accounted for we maxed out at fifty). It was hard to have so many close friends and coworkers not join us for what turned out to be one beautiful day, but the truth is the whole event would have been very different if the guest list was tripled.